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Karma is a ***** and other things You Should Know About the Premier League this Weekend

It’s amazing how the Premier League can spring surprises (as often as this happens, it still amazes me) especially on those weekends when U look at the list of fixtures and you don’t see any “exciting fixtures”.

That was the case – at least for me – this past weekend. Arsenal vs Sunderland? “Comfy win for Arsenal” was my response. Chelsea against Bournemouth? I thought in my mind, “Finally! Chelsea can gather 3 points from a game in their quest to survive relegation.” I went on and on about the other games too. I made my own predictions: “Man. City should win, even if they’re away, Newcastle’s dead already, another Vardy goal, West Ham should kill another giant.” But the Premier League had other ideas.

Here’s 5 things I learnt this weekend:

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The Premier League is STILL as Random as ****…
… and that’s where they have an edge over the other leagues in the world. Not the over-priced and over-hyped players. No, not the spending power. It’s the unpredictability of that league. When the other ‘big boys’ are playing in their leagues, you can be sure they’ll have a party, bang in the goals and brush their opponents aside (except for this weird weekend that had Bayern Munich and Barcelona fail to win). Well, the Premier League doesn’t work that way. The way the league functions? Stoke City have to beat Man. City, in-trouble Newcastle have to surprisingly outscore in-form Liverpool and winless-in-eight Bournemouth have to get full 3 points against Chelsea… at the bridge! Romantic right?

My way or the highway: High-handed meister
My way or the highway: High-handed meister Louis

– van Gaal is Doing More Harm than Good…
… and the Man. Utd fans that watched the game against West Ham agree totally with me! You can call them ‘The New Boring Team’ of the League and you won’t be exactly wrong. They score like they’re afraid the goals will finish and their defending speaks a lot of ‘zero goals against’. Games are won by scoring goals and keeping your opponents out in the cold right? Well, the second part was well done, as has been for a while now by the Red Devils. But these devils can’t even scare their opponents by scoring against them! And LVG is not helping by snuffing life out of the ‘really good’ kids in the team (you know them). Martial came with good prospects yes. But, a young lad can only be a young lad: Shine blazingly in a couple of games and the wear out. Uncle Louis knows what’s wrong with his team but the Dutchman is too stiff and we all know how things that refuse to be flexible end up. Well at least nobody can blame Rooney for their woes up front this time.

– Claudio Ranieri and his Blue Band…
… are marching on! They put three past poor Swansea via one man, – not Jamie Vardy this time – are sitting on top of the league table and are still claiming all they’re aiming for now is 40 points (somewhat of a pointer to not relegating). Hilarious right? Well, maybe that’s what’s kept them so motivated. When running from a lion, you don’t stop until the lion is tired right? So just maybe Leicester is so motivated to not get relegated they’re running as fast as they can; speeding past the Swans in their weekend game!

P.S: I also think that the tact was: “Continue feeding him till he gets 11, he breaks the record, and normalcy can return (that is other players can start scoring). And on the 12th Matchday, Mahrez scored a hattrick and You-Know-Who was not on the scorers sheet… #Leicester

The Exchange of the Year?
The Exchange of the Year?

– It has to be One of these Two: Mourinho or Yokohama Tyres
Well, any team that ‘The Only One’ becomes its gaffer will ultimately be compared to a bus someday; that one day when Mou will feel like ‘parking the bus’. So, maybe it wasn’t totally surprising when the name on the Chelsea jersey was changed to something related to tyres this season; same season Chelsea have gone from ‘the Feared Ones’ to ‘the team every club can’t wait to play against! Now, Chelsea is somewhere ‘around’ the relegation zone especially after the – shocking or not so shocking loss – to Bournemouth and it all seems out of Jose’s hands. He seems helpless. Chelsea can’t stop losing. For a team like the Blues – and please permit my superstitious beliefs – the only reason I can think of for such a terrible season is, someone somewhere has done something bad and karma is simply being the nicest b***h we all know her to be. Or maybe Samsung is still mad at Chelsea for choosing ‘tyres’ over them!

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– Man. City Should Not Win the League…
… and before you charge me court, I’ve got reasons to back up my suggestion. Yes, it’s a suggestion. That the Scariest Team in the League ‘should’ not win the league is a wild call but,
– How can a team that has kept up the trend of losing three points whenever they play away from the Etihad Stadium rack up enough points to end the season log leaders?
– How can a team that ‘malfunctions’ without Aguero, that has a ‘malfunctioning Yaya Toure and a ‘confused’ ‘not-match-fit’ Delph even end up being the champs by the end of the season?
– How can a team that is CONSTANTLY waiting upon news from Bayern Munich even move forward and win the league?
Welcome back Silva. No offence to you de Bruyne but I think Man. City should not.win the league this season.

#Dazzall

Follow me on twitter @rotdav

Rotimi "Papi the Great" Daramola
Rotimi Daramola aka Papi the Great is the owner of ForTheGoal. A freelance sports writer who focuses on football, Rotimi is also a freelance writer, a copywriter and a football analyst who regularly appears on radio and television to talk football. You can follow him on twitter @papi_thegreat to keep up with his writings, engage him and also find out about how you can secure his writing services.

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